Delayed Gratification

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Delayed Gratification

Sermon by  Thomas Thornhill Jr

Passage: Hebrews 11:13-16


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Our text is recorded in the midst of describing the faith of Abraham and the way he lived because His ultimate desire was to please God.  God had made promises to him (Genesis 12:1-3, 7), SOME OF WHICH he would not see the final results in his lifetime. And he was ok with that because 1) He trusted God more than anything or anyone and 2) He believed that there was something better on the other side of life that made the sacrifices of this life worthwhile.  He was willing to put off (i.e., delay) instant gratification for the BETTER reward in the long run.

We live in an instant gratification society.  What that means is when someone wants something, they must have it right now.  No longer is waiting acceptable.  We watch our movies and tv shows on demand, we order merchandise and expect it to be delivered to our home today, we communicate anywhere in the world and demand an answer right now, and with a few keystrokes and the click of a mouse, we have answers to virtually anything we ask.  If someone wants to purchase something, instead of saving up, they go into debt so that they can have it right now, often regretting the purchase after it is too late to return.  We want to eat something, so we put it in the microwave so that it is ready in seconds, even though quality is often sacrificed.  That is the society in which we live and it is promoted in advertising often (think of the credit card commercials that tell you that you deserve something right now, “limited time offers” that you need to act right now, etc.).

It also applies to sinful behaviors. One of the appeals of sin is instant gratification.  We think about what is pleasurable right now while ignoring the long-term consequences of our decisions.  When Satan tempted Eve, it was about what she could have right then (Genesis 3:3-6).

ONE of the ways we can overcome temptations is by practicing delayed gratification.  And that is what I want to address in this lesson. While the mantra of our society is instant gratification, the truth is that when we learn to wait there are many benefits.  And the Bible encourages delayed gratification.

  1. What is delayed gratification?
    1. It means putting off instant satisfaction for a greater reward later.
    2. One source[1] described success as developing this one habit. Success usually comes down to choosing the pain of discipline over the ease of distraction. And that’s exactly what delayed gratification is all about.
    3. The article appealed to the “Marshmallow Experiment” conducted in the late 1960s. Hundreds of children were placed in a private room and a marshmallow was placed on the table.  They were told if they would wait until the researcher returned, they would receive a second marshmallow.  The researcher would wait 15 minutes later and reward accordingly.  The majority ate the marshmallow, some immediately and others after a few minutes.  But there was a small group of children who waited and received the second marshmallow.  This was published in 1972.  But the remarkable results was how these subjects were tracked for the next 40 years.  The children who waited typically scored higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse and obesity, responded better to stress and had better social skills. On average, they did better in life.
  2. The Bible and delayed gratification
    1. Delayed gratification has clear Biblical implications. It is a quality, we need as Christians and it will factor into our faithfulness and growth as Christians.
    2. Consider the following passages:
      1. Galatians 6:9 – And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
      2. Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
      3. Proverbs 21:5 –The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, But those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty.
      4. Ecclesiastes 7:8, The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
      5. James 1:12 – blessed is the one who endures temptation. When he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life.
      6. Hebrews 10:35-36, 12:1-2 – you have need of endurance!
      7. Isaiah 40:31 – But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
      8. NOTE: Hebrews 13:4 – waiting until you get married comes with many blessings.
      9. Parents need to teach their children its value.
  3. Examples of delayed gratification
    1. Abraham and Sarah – Hebrews 11:13-16 – our opening text.  They waited about 25 years after God made the promise till Isaac was born.  And it was a challenge.  Genesis 12:4, 21:5-7.
    2. Esau, an example of FAILED delayed gratification. Genesis 25:29-34. He sold his birthright.  The New Testament calls what he did profane –  Hebrews 12:16,
    3. Joseph in Egypt – he faithfully endured wrongdoing and did NOT give in to youthful lusts (e.g., Potiphar’s wife) and eventually was greatly rewarded.
    4. Moses – Hebrews 11:24-25 – he walked away from the household of Pharaoh choosing to suffer affliction with God’s people rather than “to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin.”
    5. Simeon as he sees the baby Jesus – Luke 2:29-30. He waited to see Him and was promised he would before he died.   He took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said: “Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace, According to Your word; For my eyes have seen Your salvation
  4. Some benefits of delayed gratification.
    1. Psychology sources[2] describe some of the benefits of delayed gratification. These include:
      1. Improved self-control – as you resist short-term temptations and focus better on long-term goals;
      2. Academically – performance is enhanced with higher scores and performing better in school;
      3. Better decision making skills – before acting one weighs the pros and cons of a choice, more thought is put into decisions;
      4. Greater emotional wellbeing – higher self-esteem and overall mental health (because you have greater control with life decisions), lower stress because of that control; Included in this are better financial and professional management, better health (because you say no and make better choices), as well as better relationships – more patience, stronger connections, etc.
      5. Increased resilience – more likely to persevere through challenges and to adapt when facing setbacks;
      6. Greater long term success – because the reason one delays gratification is knowing there is a greater goal in the long run.
    2. I mention all of these because you can find Biblical application in ALL of them.
      1. It helps to build your character – self-control, patience, endurance, contentment, willpower, etc. James 1:2-5 – the testing of your faith produces patience; 1 Corinthians 9:25 – the athlete is temperate in all things.
      2. By waiting, the outcome is often better – when we finally receive something, we are better informed about it (was it a mistake, etc.). Very often, instant gratification does not yield the results we thought it would. Instead, there are regrets.
      3. It leads to a better mental state – we appreciate something when we receive it, etc.
      4. It increases our faith – we are learning to wait on God and to trust Him and His timing.
    3. Our ultimate goal – heaven
      1. The life of a Christian is summarized in this: We sacrifice now, to enjoy a home in heaven when this life is over.
      2. We eagerly await His appearing – Hebrews 9:28 – Jesus died to save us and will appear again to take us to our reward.
      3. Philippians 3:20 – because our citizenship is in heaven, we live with a desire to depart and be with the Lord – Philippians 1:23 – “which is far better”
      4. Romans 8:25 – But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. The hope Paul is addressing is eternal life.
      5. 1 Peter 5:10 – But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
    4. Developing delayed gratification
      1. If you are used to getting your way right now, this will not be an easy thing to achieve.
      2. It is a mindset – this is where it will begin. You have to make up your mind about what is most important.
        1. Bringing every thought into captivity – 2 Cor. 10:3-5.
        2. Ours is a lifestyle that is not in the majority. Cf. 1 John 2:15-17 – “…is not of the Father but is of the world.”  Remind yourself of your true citizenship (Philippians 3:20).
      3. Remind yourself of the anticipated reward, also consider the consequences of times when you gave in to immediate gratification. Your long-term goals have to mean more than immediate gratification.
      4. Deny yourself of something intentionally. Replace it with something better.  NOTE: This is a goal of fasting.  Matthew 16:24 – what did Jesus say we must do to be His disciple – deny himself, take up your cross and follow Him.
      5. Reward yourself along the way. It is good to enjoy the fruits of your efforts.
        We are dealing with things that are not sinful within themselves, but we cannot be bought under the power of anything.  1 Corinthians 6:12 – I will not be brought under the power of any.
      6. Remove temptations and obstacles – the weights and sins – Hebrews 12:1-2. Learning to delay gratification is only effective IF it becomes a lifestyle.  So, if there are things that stand in your way, you need to alter your lifestyle!   We must remove anything that will sabotage our ultimate goal.  As Christians, that means that we take steps to remove sin AND ITS TEMPTATIONS out of our lives.  Titus 2:11-12, For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,
      7. We need occasional examinations to see where we are. 2 Corinthians 13:5.  We need to do this so that we can ensure we are on track and perhaps tweak our efforts.  NOTE: But do not be obsessive about this or it can become discouraging (if things are not progressing as you would like).
      8. Pray about it! 1 Thessalonians 5:17, 18; James 1:5 – lack wisdom, ask of God; Philippians 4:6-7, etc. Though He bears long – Luke 18:7-8 – though God “bears long”, He will answer us as is best, in His time.
      9. TRUST God – know that He is in control. That is what faith is about.
        1. Returning from Babylonian captivity – Jeremiah 29:10-12. For thus says the LORD: After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
        2. Romans 8:28, And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. While not meant the way some view it, it does declare that God WILL accomplish His intended purpose.  Our goal is to WAIT!
        3. 1 Corinthians 10:13 – He can and will make the way of escape from temptations.

 And thus we can see the value of delayed gratification. As Christians, this is a foundational quality that will impact every area of our lives AND the way we view our place in this world.  God’s word calls for us as His children to give up many things, BUT in the long run, when we get to heaven, I am fully convinced we will boldly declare it was worthy it.  Consider Matthew 19:29, And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.

What about you? Are you patiently living a controlled life for Him?  Think about it!

[1] Clear, James; 40 Years of Stanford Research Found That People With This Quality Are More Likely To Succeed.  https://jamesclear.com/delayed-gratification   Accessed, 9/18/2025.

[2] Foster, Ken D.  8 Benefits of Delayed Gratification.   https://kendfoster.com/benefits-of-delayed-gratification/ , Sep. 3, 2023, accessed – 9/18/2025
Also AI assist, search, https://duckduckgo.com , Benefits of Delayed Gratification, accessed 9/18/2025

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